Dear Family,
A week to remember and a multitude of new “coincidences.” Limiting my attention to our little blog: Today, April 7, marks the fifth anniversary of the first post on my “old blog.” Back then, the “reason” was the pandemic. Today its has to be “tariffs”, as I sense that this will also change the traditional world as we’ve experienced it for the past two hundred years.
Once again, the protagonists are China and the United States, only this time the “virus” changes its place of origin and nature: biological versus mental, but no less deadly. And the proposed “solution” is the same: war! And who will win the war? Probably no one, just like all separatist wars!
A multitude of ideas and comparisons come to mind, and perhaps my hand will one day guide me to put them all together in writing. But at this moment, it has led me (you’ll see how) to propose another solution. But before I leave the subject, I can’t resist ‘publishing’ this acronym: TARIFF = TAxRIpoFF, which in Spanish means “cheating someone into paying too much money for something.” (I haven’t heard it, nor have I fabricated it with anyone else, so it can’t be a conspiracy theory.)
And let’s see how I was ‘forced’ to propose the alternative solution. Last Tuesday, April 1st, April Fool’s Day in the U.S. and (appropriately?) the eve of “Liberation Day” (according to Trump), I was again unable to sleep, but this time without any physical pain. Around midnight, the thought came to me: Could it be some ‘pain’ in my spiritual body? By ‘coincidence,’ that afternoon, while preparing for this blog, I had read this in the Teacher’s Manual (Lesson 3):
5. The third level of teaching occurs in relationships that, once formed, are lifelong…… This doesn’t mean they necessarily recognize it; in fact, they usually don’t. ⁵They may even be quite hostile toward each other for a time, and perhaps for life. (ACIM, M-3.5:1-5)
And here’s the reason for my sleeplessness: I have to admit that my relationship with my wife causes me pain and needs to be corrected. Fortunately, the same manual reveals the why and how, and I have absolute faith that it will be. At this point, once again at 3 a.m., I assumed I could sleep, but to my surprise, “nanay cucas” (a Colombian term meaning “not in hell”).
And the problem became even greater when I thought about the ‘tariffs’ for the following hours. I realized that to achieve salvation, it is also necessary to learn to forgive Trump, and Maduro, and Putin, and Netanyahu, and Castro, and so on, and so on (all those who demonstrate excessive love for themselves but only hate for those who disagree with their punitive methods). Ultimately, the solution is “with love,” and although it isn’t as easy and natural for me as correcting my marital relationship, I perceive that it is possible; after all, they all have followers who love them. But by now, it was time to get up, so the vigil was complete, but I must admit that I had a normal day, without fatigue, as if I had slept my required eight hours.
I realized then that it might be better to begin my second 365 days of meditation before completing the teachers’ manual. I therefore decided to limit my study and prior communication of the manual and select Easter (April 20) instead of May 1 as my initiation date. With this in mind, I dedicated Friday to preparing the blog, and as part of the plan, I expanded my study of the manual a bit. By evening, I felt ready to write the blog, but an inner voice advised me instead to spend some time with my wife (the marital plan seems to be starting to work), go to bed early, and get up early to write.
And yet another coincidence. For several years now, my sleep has been briefly interrupted by the renal need for a bathroom visit. Sometimes two at most, but especially in the last year. I sleep three to five hours before feeling the urge. That night, a first call came two hours later, a second an hour and a half later, and a third just an hour after that. I should note that all three indicated normal and abundant function of my beloved kidneys—the rare times I’ve had successive calls it turned out to be false positives. I marveled at the method chosen, but it was abundantly clear that the hand was once again at work.
I reacted simply, asking, “Give me Your guidance.” I fell asleep again and remember dreaming I was driving a truck through the congested streets of Bogotá and suddenly losing all visibility when the windshield became completely clouded. I kept moving, listening to the automatic warning signals and praying. Suddenly, it started to rain, and I regained clear vision, only to have it obscure again, but only the half in front of the copilot seat. Here I woke up; it was already relatively late, not the dawn I had thought. I don’t dream often and almost never remember what I dreamed, so I won’t even try to interpret this one. What I do know is that I remembered reading something in the manual, and when I reviewed my reading from the day before, I believe the message (in Lesson 9) is this:
2. As the teacher of God advances in his training, he learns a lesson with increasing thoroughness. ²He does not make his own decisions; he asks his Teacher for His answer, and it is this that he follows as his guide for action.³This becomes easier and easier as the teacher of God learns to give up his own judgment. (ACIM, M-9.2:1-3)
Now I ‘see’ that I don’t have to wait to digest the teacher’s manual to resume practicing the exercises. Then, still a mercantile mind, a two-for-one offer came to my mind: let’s load the truck of my dreams with both manuals at once. Let’s start practicing the exercises now, and at the same time, I’ll slowly digest what I’m learning in the other manual. And early Saturday (April 5), I accepted this decision.
For the rest of Saturday, I had the immense joy of accompanying the oldest ‘sister’ of my extended family here in Folsom, to celebrate her 100th birthday. And on Sunday, we also celebrated the 70th and 80th anniversaries, respectively, of two members of the same family, who had relocated to other states, taking advantage they came for Saturday’s Agape. This weekend was truly a Festival of Love.
As you’ll notice, once again, I’ve had to give my testimony in the form of a personal diary, but it’s the only way I found to highlight how and why the nature of the Blog has been restructured, and also how I arrived, unwittingly, at a fifth personal anniversary. To complete and finish the diary, the 7th, 8th, and 9th were spent writing this one and preparing the new structure of the Blog. I hope to always include two sections: one on the weekly exercises (from the 365-day program) and another on what I learn in the Master’s manual. I hope with this, I will fulfill the guidance I feel is being given to me by my dear hand. I will strive to ensure that it remains essentially a presentation of my “testimonies,” not a simple repetition of the Manuals.
Having made this decision, I’ve begun the announced restructuring, but given the amount of hassle it took to announce it, I think it’s prudent to start it next Palm Sunday (April 13) in the next blog. (Since another Tuesday has passed and I haven’t had any sleepless nights, I dare say there won’t be any more changes.)
I conclude this “journal” with this summary: I have realized that the lessons in the Course Teacher’s Manual require deep meditation and should be digested slowly, deliberately, and very calmly. My previous estimate of a month to do so is as ridiculous as Trump’s claim of changing world trade in a week. (Clearly, in both cases, the reason is ignorance, even if we protest that “I know what I’m doing.”) Well, in my case at least, the Holy Spirit has answered my call for help and is going to drive the truck. Let’s hope the same happens to Trump.
And I wish it with love for everyone, including him.
Alberto